Akhilandeshvari - The Goddess of being Broken

I'm intrigued.  My interest has been sparked by the name of a Goddess that has crossed my path recently.  And as it goes when a Goddess taps me on the shoulder, there's a lesson here and I'm in the midst of it. 
A few weeks ago, this story came across my facebook news feed.  I read it and I thought, this is so interesting, and beautiful, and . . . wow I can relate!  The article was called Why Lying In A Broken Pile on Your Bathroom Floor is a Good Thing and it's about a little known Hindu Goddess - Akhilandeshvari - The Goddess of Never Not Being Broken.  She's an aspect of Parvati (at least from what I can find in my online searching; and in Hindu mythology most of the Gods and Goddesses are all different aspects of each other)  The Goddess of Never Not Broken - the eternally broken Goddess... resides in the state of brokenness.  You know, that raw place of grief or loss where the soul feels so open, like the world and everything can just reach in and touch it?  Yeah we've all been there.  Akhilandeshvari lives there.  Riding on the back of a crocodile (fear) through the river (the eternal energy flow of the universe).  Yeah.  Powerful. 
I know that those moments of brokenness have been some of the most transformative experiences of my life.  After all, when we break apart in pain or grief, we have to redefine ourself, rebuild our life - and we usually come back from that place a stronger person.  It's where that annoying phrase "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" comes from.

So, I made note of this interesting Goddess, told myself I would research her (this was after only reading the article in the link above), and moved on with my life.  Doing my thing.  Taking life in leaps and bounds!  I've been in a state of rapid manifestation and big changes.  Empowered.  Fearless.  Taking big steps and making big changes.  I've been working on an online class to get Certified as a card reader (Tarot & Oracle).  I quit my unsatisfying retail job.  I've been meeting new people and working on starting and organizing a social group for local Pagans in my area.  Experiencing new things.  Feeling so together.  I'm going after my dream, my life purpose!  Amidst all this I also had a chance to get my Reiki 1 certification.  Great!  Adding Reiki to my life just seems so perfect, so wonderful!  And it has been!  The class I took when I received my Reiki 1 attunements was wonderful!

In Reiki 1, we receive blessings that help awaken our inner power to heal ourselves and our loved ones.  We learn that Reiki is a lifestyle, and a big part of the journey is in meditation and working on ourselves.  Focusing on Gratitude.  Learning energy awareness.  Healing and being open to receiving healing . . . on a daily basis.  It's really all so wonderful!  But if you've ever had any kind of energy work done before (or gone through a detox) you know that as you accept that healing - all the negative has to come out.  Things from the past bubble to the surface. 

So here I am, literally lying in a broken heap on my bedroom floor.  I knew that my Reiki teacher had told me that "things from the past might come up, or you might face uncomfortable feelings."  And I knew that this was just a part of healing - sometimes we have to shine a light on those deep dark places.  But damn.  I mean, This is stuff from years ago that I thought was resolved.  I'm asking "Why me?" and "Why Now?" and "can I do this?  Am I strong enough?  Is it time?  Am I ready?"  All that confidence I had, this blissful cloud of change just dissolved beneath me and I had to realize - changing the outside (the external) ain't worth shit if the inside isn't changed too.  And I'm realizing I have to redefine myself, yet again.  Rebuild myself, yet again.  (How many times have I been here?)  And I'm feeling broken and raw and unsure of myself, and then . . . I remembered Akhilandeshvari.  The Never Not Broken Goddess.

So, I started doing some research.  I found another article describing this Goddess

"Pronounced ah-kee-LAN-desh-va-ree, "Akhilandeshvari" translates as "Never Not Broken." She shows us the power and opportunity of being broken into pieces by heartache, disaster, great fortune, and other life changes and traumas.
However She takes this to the furthest extreme, purposefully keeping Herself broken wide open, allowing Herself to flow with every current, creating and fragmenting and recreating Herself endlessly.
She steadfastly refuses to paste Herself together into a stable form, shunning the limitations that She'd have to abide and the false identities that would hide Reality.
She rides on a crocodile: the very survival-fear that keep most of us chained to the known and routine is Her flying carpet! She is not controlled by the need to keep her identity consistent, or even alive. She dances and spins and breaks herself into shards of light, tossing out new possibilities for herself like flower petals from a cherry tree.  

The Goddess Never-Not-Broken promises that the greatest magick is in the transformative moments: the heartbreack, the uncertainties, the pause before we hit the ground... and what we do with ourselves after we land. "

I found a few more websites with scattered and brief information, much of it the same from one site to another.  But that's part of the beauty of this Goddess - the simplicity of being broken.  Undefined.  Ever changing.  Defying definition and boundaries by being constantly in the flow of that river, riding the back of that crocodile, breaking apart and finding power in that state.  A strong sense of peace came over me as I read more.  Well, not "peace" . . . but just knowing.  Trusting.  I can do this.  I am powerful, even when I am broken.  I am still connected to all that Divine bliss, even in my moments of pain and doubt.  Yes. Akhilandeshvari has become part of my personal pantheon, and I invite Her to tap on my shoulder and get my attention any time that I forget that being broken is beautiful.

I also found this traditional chant attributed to Akhilandeshvari, it is quite beautiful and I think I will use it for meditation to help me connect with this aspect of the Goddess!
Also -  found some beautiful art inspired by this Goddess - I think an artist of any kind could really connect with this Goddess. . . because as we create something new we often have to break ourselves into pieces, and as we rearrange them and put those bits of ourselves back together in a new way, art is born.

Hestia's Weekly Musings - The Hanged Man

Here's your weekly reading from Hestia's Muse! I draw a card at my Kitchen Altar at the beginning of the week, asking Hestia (Goddess of The Hearth & Domestics) what advice she has for me for the week ahead.  I also ask that the message I receive will be something that my blog readers will also benefit from.



My kitchen altar, with this week's cards.

This week I did a comparative reading style, comparing the same card from 3 different tarot decks.  First I drew randomly from The Kitchen Tarot and then found the matching card from The Housewives' Tarot and the Epicurean Tarot.  Our card of the week is The Hanged Man.

Left to right, The Hanged Man from; The Epicurean Tarot Recipe Cards, The Kitchen Tarot, and The Housewives' Tarot

Hestia's Message;
This week you need to look at things from a different perspective. Things that haven't been working for you may need to be approached from a different angle, or given more time. Make your chores and goals turn into acts of active meditation and practice awareness. Break down your goals into smaller portions and work on things one at a time. Use your timer and clock to give extra focus and awareness to your tasks this week, and if something isn't working out, consider "hanging it out to dry" for now, until the timing is right!

Affirmation for the week:
"I will connect to my highest values and see the world through my own eyes"

Meditation for the week:
"From the place of humility comes inner strength when the brash ego has faded."

The Hanged Man says;
"You are now placed in a position where you have to look at life from a whole new perspective; think about why you are here, how you got here, and what events and actions have shaped your life so far.  What can you take forward with you from here, and what do you need to sacrifice?  Be brutal and honest in your assessment, and don't be afraid of letting go!"

A Closer Look;
The Kitchen Timer
From The Kitchen Tarot by Susan Shie and Dennis Fairchild
This card indicates a lot of false starts and / or compromised situations.  As we have just had the start of our New Year, many of our minds have been on resolutions and goals.  This week we may find ourselves slipping back into old habits, or realize that some part of our resolution was unrealistic.  This card urges us to take a time out and step back from our frustration.  We may need to break down our goals into smaller, more reasonable and attainable "mini goals".  The Hanged Man is a card that urges us to take a new perspective and as represented here by The Kitchen Timer it may be a good time to look at our time management skills! it's still a good idea to keep working on breaking those old habits . . . but maybe the way you originally thought of doing it isn't working out.  I'm reminded of The FlyLady's method for housework and organizing.  She teaches that the only way to get organized is by breaking it all down into Baby Steps, taking one day at a time and slowly developing new habits one at a time, then adding in a new habit every month or so.  She also encourages the use of a kitchen timer!  Set your timer for 15 minutes and work on that goal until the timer goes off.   Sure, you might not finish your whole project in 15 minutes, but now you can take a break and re-evaluate your progress.  Figure out what's working, and what's not.  Celebrate the progress you made.  The timer also helps you stay focused on one task at a time, and that kind of mindful awareness is a big message of The Hanged Man, no matter what deck you are using!

The Hanged Man
From The Housewives' Tarot by Paul Kepple and Jude Buffum
The Housewives' Tarot always has a way of putting a humorous - if not dark - perspective on the Tarot.  Here we see a Housewife hanging out her laundry to dry - and while she's at it she's hanging that no-good husband out to dry for awhile too!  This card relates to the epiphany that comes from hardship.  Once you realize that something isn't working right in your life, you have that "A-Ha!" moment when you realize you need to change something.  You may need to wait for the timing to be better (waiting for the delicates to dry on the line), or distance yourself from a toxic situation or person.  Whatever it is that's bothering you, a little time and change of perspective might be just what is needed!

 

The Hanged man's Upside-Down Cake

From The Epicurean Tarot Recipe Cards by Corrine Kenner

This deck lovingly pairs a recipe with each card of the tarot.  Often the recipe will in some way represent the card, and can make the act of cooking or eating into a time of mindful active meditation on that card's meaning.  Here is a bit of a twist on an upside-down cake, cooked and served in honor of The Hanged Man;

"The Hanged Man looks at the world from a perspective that's entirely different than the one most of us are used to.  Change your outlook with this surprisingly easy, exceptionally tasty dessert."

 

 

 

• 8 to 10 apples, peeled, cored and quartered
• 2 tsp lemon juice
• 1 cup chopped walnuts
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1 cup packed brown sugar
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1 cup flour
• 3/4 cup white sugar
• 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1/4 cup softened butter
• 1 egg
• 1 tsp vanilla

Place apple slices in a bowl, sprinkle with lemon juice.  Add walnuts

In a large deep cast iron skillet, melt the butter.  When melted, remove from heat and mix in the brown sugar. Place the apple slices and walnuts in layers on top of the butter/brown sugar mixture in the cast iron skillet.  Do not stir.  Set aside.

In a separate mixing bowl, combine the flour, white sugar, baking powder, and salt.  Add the 1/4 cup softened butter and the milk, mix well.  Add the egg and vanilla, mix well.  Pour the batter gently over the apples and walnuts in the cast iron skillet. 

Place in preheated 350 degree (f) oven for 40 minutes.  Let the cake cool on a rack for 5 minutes before inverting onto serving plate.

Monday Book Review; Red Rising

 

Joining in at Book Journey for this week's Book Reviews!

This last week I read the book Red Rising by Pierce Brown.  I was browsing through e-books on Barnes & Noble and found this on sale.  It's the first book of a Trilogy and the description caught my attention. 

 

http://redrisingbook.com/book.php

 

"Pierce Brown's relentlessly entertaining debut channels the excitement of The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins and Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card.

"I live for the dream that my children will be born free," she says. "That they will be what they like. That they will own the land their father gave them."

"I live for you," I say sadly.

Eo kisses my cheek. "Then you must live for more."

Darrow is a miner and a Red, a member of the lowest caste in the color-coded society of the future. Like his fellow Reds, he digs all day, believing that he and his people are making the surface of the planet livable for future generations. Darrow has never seen the sky.

Yet he spends his life willingly, knowing that his blood and sweat will one day result in a better future for his children.

But Darrow and his kind have been betrayed. Soon he discovers that humanity already reached the surface generations ago. Vast cities and sprawling parks spread across the planet. Darrow and Reds like him are nothing more than slaves to a decadent ruling class.

Inspired by a longing for justice, and driven by the memory of lost love, Darrow joins a resistance group in order to infiltrate the ruling class and destroy society from within. He will stop at nothing to bring down his enemies . . . even if it means he has to become one of them to do so."

 

What can I say?  I LOVED IT!  If you liked The Hunger Games Trilogy, you will like this book!  What sets it apart from the Hunger games is that it is more Sci-Fi - the setting is Mars, in the distant future.  Darrow is a Red, the lowest caste of people on Mars, similar to Katniss' District 12.  The Reds are slaves to the Golds . . . as are all the other sects of people in this Hierarchy ruled government.  The thing is, the Reds don't know they are slaves.  Living underground, they have been lied to and fed false propaganda.  There is a movement beginning, a group called The Sons of Ares who wish to create an uprising against the Golds.  Darrow is chosen to be an important part of this uprising and he is told the truth about The Golds and the way the planet is run, and then sent on an undercover mission to infiltrate Gold Society.  In order to gain an influential rank inside Gold Government, Darrow must first graduate from an Institute to become a "Peerless Scarred" . . . students are thrown into the wilderness and must fight for rank with battles against other students. 

The book is intense!  It falls under the category of Dystopian Fiction, much like Ender's game, The Hunger Games, and Divergent.  As I stated above, it's more Science-Fiction genre than some of those others are, and I should mention it's not marketed as Young Adult like those other series are.  There are more adult situations, not just with violence - but including rape and murder. 

I can't wait to read the next book in the series; Golden Son! 

What's Next on my reading list?

I plan on re-reading Merrick by Anne Rice, and probably the rest of the Vampire Chronicles series after that . . . leading up to the newest installment in the series, Prince Lestat.
I'm also reading There Was An Old Woman by Hallie Ephron.

Detox Bath and Meditation with Yemaya

A warm bath can be the perfect place to unwind, relax, and meditate.  Combining the physical benefits of a detox bath with the intention and focus of cleansing and healing can be quite a spiritual experience.  I love taking a bath every week for a time of pampering, self love, and purification.

This week I have been working with Yemaya, a Santerian Goddess of the Ocean.  I thought that my bath would be a great way to connect with her without actually going to the beach or creek.  It's winter and cold outside!  With the Sea Salt in this detoxifying bath recipe, it's as if you are enjoying the blessings of ocean water, from the comfort of your own home!

Basic Recipe For A Detox Bath:

1/2 cup Baking Soda
1 cup Sea Salt
1 cup Epsom Salt
optional; 2 - 3 drops of essential oil of your choice

Mix well in warm bath water and soak for about 30 minutes.  The combination of Sea Salt, Epsom Salt, and Baking Soda helps to relax your muscles and open the pores of your skin to draw out toxins.  Drink a full glass (8 - 10 oz) of cool water after your bath to help continue the detox and prevent muscle soreness and dehydration.

Setting the Mood

Here are some ways you can make your bathroom a scared space to call upon Yemaya for her healing and nurturing.  All of these are optional; do what feels right to you based on what you already have or can easily get.

* Sea Shells - arrange around the edge of the bathtub or near the tub
* Candles - White, Blue, Sea-Foam type colors would be best
* Figurines of Dolphins or Mermaids - arranged near the bath or around the edges.  Be careful not to knock them into the tub or onto the floor!
* Your Yemaya Mojo bag
* Prayer Beads / Mala Necklace
* A cd player or mp3 player with speakers (Kept away from the water, of course!)
* Sounds of the ocean or flowing water.  Many meditation CDs have tracks with sounds of ocean waves or rain.

Set your bathroom up however you like.  Make sure you have clean towels and fresh clothes for when you get out.  Run your bath and add the Bath Detox ingredients. 

Light the candles, turn on the music.  If there is enough candle light and/or a night light, you may want to turn off the lights in the bathroom.  Just be sure you can see well enough to get in and out of the tub safely!

Sit or kneel by the tub and swirl the water with your hand.  Call on Yemaya and ask her to enter your sacred space, to be with you.  When you feel ready, you may get in your bath.

Relax!  Enjoy!

While you are enjoying your bath, you may choose to meditate, pray, or chant.  Ask Yemaya to bless you and cleanse you, she will help boost the detoxifying energy of the bath.  If you wish, you may visualize yourself with Yemaya on a beach.  She holds you gently and lovingly, the way a mother holds a child, and she slowly lowers you into the ocean, where you feel safe and loved. 

While I was visualizing this and feeling her loving presence close to me, I found myself chanting;

"Mother, Mother, Mother, Yemaya
Mother, Mother, Mother, Yemaya
Bless me, bless me, bless me, Yemaya
Mother, Mother, Morther, Yemaya."

and then I found myself singing;

"We all come from The Goddess,
and unto Her we shall return.
Like a drop of water,
flowing to the Ocean."

As you pray and meditate, ask for the Great Mother's guidance.  She may give you a message pertaining to your healing, or how to rebalance some aspect of your life.  This guidance may come in the form of a thought, idea, or an urge to do something differently or change some aspect of your life.  Notice that this guidance does not come with judgment, but with the love of a Mother who truly wants what is best for you.

Spend as long as you like in the bath, praying, singing, meditating.  30 minutes is the recommended time for the Detox bath to have full effect, but listen to your body and if you need longer or less time, honor yourself and do what is best for you. 

When you are done;

Carefully get out of the bath, dry yourself.  Thank Yemaya for her blessings, healing, and guidance.  Turn on the lights and blow out the candles, but let them cool before moving them.  You may wish to dress yourself in blues or sea-green colors for the rest of the day to continue feeling Yemaya's ocean presence with you.  Take a small step to do something to improve your life or your health - even if it is just making a to-do list or writing down the things you were guided to work on.

May your days be blessed! 

For your enjoyment, here are some slightly different Detox Bath recipes I found online.  Enjoy and use whichever recipe you want!

Yemaya Mojo Bag

This week I have felt the call of Yemaya, Mother Goddess of the ocean.  She's calling me - sweetly, patiently.  I've heard her call before.  The first time I found her, I was looking for rituals or prayers to help ease a painful menstrual cycle.  She's associated with the tides, therefore: the moon and natural cycles. I have a deck of tarot cards - The Goddess Tarot - with the image of Yemaya as the Temperance card.  I have drawn this card in readings for myself several times - most often it is when I am on my moon cycle!  It's like she is gently reminding me to call on her during the time of my monthly cycle.  She reminds me of moderation, of self-care and nurturing, and that this time of the month can and should be remembered as a sacred time to reflect on the power of woman and mother.  You can read my previous blog post to learn more about Yemaya.

 

I have a plan formulating in my mind to create a mala necklace for meditation and healing during my moon cycle.  It will be a Yemaya Prayer Necklace. . . and it will come together when the time is right.  But for now, I have created a Yemaya Mojo bag to wear and carry when I need to be reminded of her presence in my life.  As I was sitting here contemplating the dream of the prayer necklace, my eyes were drawn to this blue mojo bag I have hanging on my wall. . . empty and waiting to be used.  It's a beautiful blue color with a sacred spiral.  I attached a small silver Goddess pendant and a dolphin ring to the outside of it.

 

I found several things to add inside of the bag to connect it with the energy of Yemaya.
* Seven pennies because seven is the number sacred to Yemaya, and it is customary to leave seven coins as an offering to her.
* Two sea shells I collected from the ocean
* Clear quartz - clear like the water and added for it's power of healing, cleansing, balancing, and to give clarity of mind and heart.
* Green-blue Amazonite - the color makes me think of the ocean, and it's energy brings strength and discernment.
* Green sea-glass.  A piece of glass that has been made smooth by the ocean waves and sand.  I also collected this at the ocean.  It is here to remind me that even something sharp and harsh can be made smooth and beautiful by the waves and tides.
* Bloodstone.  I added this dark green bloodstone for it's energy properties that help with women's issues such as menstrual cycles, anemia, fertility, healing.  It is not necessarily associated with the ocean or Yemaya, but it fits with the reason that I call on Her.

I placed each item in the bag, stating my reason for adding it, praying for Yemaya to bless each item, and to remain close to me when I wear it.  I sprinkled some salt water over the bag and quietly chanted;

Mother, Mother, Mother, Yemaya
Mother, Mother, Mother, Yemaya
Bless me, bless me, bless me Yemaya
Mother, Mother, Mother, Yemaya

I plan to wear this bag each time I am on my Moon Cycle, for healing and comforting.  I may wear it at other times when I hear the call of Yemaya, or when I want to call upon her for balance, protection, or guidance.  You can make a mojo bag to honor and connect with Yemaya too; you don't need the same kinds of crystals I have added.  The coins and sea shells are a good start, and then just add anything else you have that reminds you of the ocean and has properties similar to the lessons and blessings of Yemaya; for whatever reasons you feel you need her in your life!

YEMAYA - Queen Mother of the Sea

YEMAYA (Yemana)
 Santeria

 Yemaya is a Mother Goddess, associated with the ocean. (As well as other bodies of water; lakes, rivers, etc) As the tides of all bodies of water are related to the moon, so is Yemaya associated as a Moon Goddess. She is known to be compassionate and nurturing, but also fierce - especially as a protector of her loved ones.  Yemaya is the Mother of all living things, owner of all waters and in Santeria, the orisha of Motherhood.

 Yemaya teaches us about balance, about the ebb and flow of life like the tides. She guides us to find balance between our emotional selves (water) and physical being (earth) and as such she is a powerful matriarch goddess to call upon for help with;
Balance
Release
Cycles
Healing
Mother/Daughter relationships
Feminine issues
Menstrual cycles
Fertility
Protection
Environmental issues (especially for oceans and bodies of water and/or sea animals)

Colors; White, Blue, Sea-Green
Symbols; Water, Sea Shells, White Roses, Dolphins, Sea Turtles, Opal, Silver, Coins, coconut, Watermelon, Honey, and the number Seven

Some links to more info;

http://craftychickscuppacoffee.blogspot.com/2010/05/my-yemaya-shrine-prayer-yemaya.html

http://wn.com/prayer_to_yemaya

http://www.aboutsanteria.com/yemayaacute.html

http://santeriachurch.org/the-orishas/yemaya/

http://www.mythicrhythm.com/yemaya-within-cultivating-unconditional-love/

XIV Balance: Yemana

 From The Goddess Tarot by Kris Waldherr
"Yemana, the Santeria goddess of the ocean is often called upon to provide rain: water that brings forth life and nurtures the earth, like waters of the womb. She symbolizes the divine balance between heaven and earth. Card meanings; experiencing or seeking a deep sense of harmony and union. Integration. Moderation. Balance between spiritual and physical."

In other tarot decks - Temperance.

This card appears now as Yemana is urging you to find or create balance in your life. Too much focus on one area of your life has possibly caused you to overlook or ignore another part of your life. Call on Yemana (Yemaya) to help cleanse away the unnecessary aspects of life with her gentle, rain-like healing. Ask for clarity to help you see what needs to be balanced in your life, and take steps to rebalance it. Yemaya can also help you to take those steps, and to remember that life is always in a state of give and take - like the ebb and flow of the ocean's tides in relation to the phases of the moon.

Vesta - Hearth Flame Purification Ritual

Vesta of the Hearth Flame Purification Ritual
(Red Candle, purifying incense)

Cast your circle.  Kneel before the altar until you feel recognized by The Goddess, then say

 "May I be cleansed outwardly and inwardly, body and soul,
that all things in my life may be made new."

Light the red candle and meditate on it's cleansing and purifying energies, and think about the myth of Vesta, the Deity of both domestic and ceremonial fires.  Keeper of the Hearth flame she was considered very pure, and if a condemned man were to happen upon one of her priestesses, his trespasses would be forgiven and he would be set free.  Come before Vesta in your heart and mind, knowing that she will help cleanse you of any negative patterns you may be repeating, and ask her for purification and renewal with the following prayer;

 "Vesta of the Sacred Flame,
Goddess of purification and renewal,
lady who sets the imprisoned free,
Pour your cleansing fires upon my heart and soul
That my life may be made new, my spirit receptive.
Awaken my mind to new opportunities.
Call my soul to greater spiritual knowledge.
Reveal to me your Inner Mysteries
that I may experience initiation anew.
Purify and bless me, O Vesta!"

 Remain in front of the altar in meditation until you feel the blessing of the Goddess.  How you feel it will be different for every person... a tingle, a warm or cold sensation... anything!  Listen and wait for the blessing of the Goddess.  Once you feel you have been blessed, Thank Vesta and close your circle.  Your purification may be received in different ways.  Within a couple days you may have a change in attitude, a desire to change your eating habits, or otherwise experience changes... embrace your purification as being personally meant for you from the Goddess for your Highest Good!

This is from "Moon Magick" by D.J. Conway and it is the suggested ritual for the energy of the New Moon in May. (Although it can be performed any time of year!) I haven't included all of the details here, just the basics and the prayer.  This was originally posted as part of a blog post at my original blog, you can see that whole blog post HERE